im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
