Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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