He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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