Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Randomize
