too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
She told me I should be a condom model.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
i think i just lost a toe
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Randomize
