i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
