I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
