Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Randomize
