I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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