I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
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