why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
