she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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