Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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