Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
