Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
