More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
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