i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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