My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize