Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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