Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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