were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
