I forgot how hot balto sounded
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
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