Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
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