eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
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