it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
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