Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
