i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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