I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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