Heybabeimwearingurpanties
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
