Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
