why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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