$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
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Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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