there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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