its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
