I cockslap morals
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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