even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
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Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
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Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave