im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
These 23 Groupies Had The Most Insane Sexual Experiences With Celebs
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
35 Of The Funniest Things People Said While Banging
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.