Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
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