i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
