we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
