I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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