I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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