Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
