I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
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