How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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