Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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