I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
