So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Of course I have a pirate flag
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
