I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
