so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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