Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
