Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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