i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
