considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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