Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
