I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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