i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
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