hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
